I find myself asking the inevitable transition question: Will I be as happy there as I am here? When I realize that I don’t know concretely, the nerves kick in.

It’s easy to freak out at the mere thought of change, because change really means “stepping into the unknown”, and as humans, we are fundamentally uneasy about the unfamiliar.

However, there is a difference between good scary and bad scary.

Bad scary is turbulence on a plane, or falling down a well.

Good scary is starting a new relationship, or starting a new job.

I guess there’s also funny scary, like when a drunk homeless guy yelled and whipped a sandwich at my girlfriend Steph’s head the other day, but I’m getting off track (as usual.)

Anyway, my point is that starting a new job is scary. There are so many things to be learned, new co-workers to figure out, a new office to navigate, etc… It’s nerve-wracking, but it opens up a multitude of really positive possibilities as well.

So, this is clearly good-scary stuff. But dealing with it still requires some tricky emotional navigation, especially since I tend to deal with major life changes in one of two ways:

1. Freak out to the point where I become paralyzed and can’t do anything
2. Step it up and deal with the situation

While this is the beginning of another chapter in my life, it’s all the same book: I know the relevant life experiences – and people – that I’ve come to appreciate in this job will stay with me long after I’ve left this place. It is with that knowledge that I excitedly walk forward, eager to turn the page and see what comes next.

A girlfriend of mine was telling me the story of a recent breakup. She was having a bad day, and needing some extra coddling, so she turned to her boyfriend and said: “You love me, right?” Of course, she was asking the question rhetorically. Which is why she had to ask him to repeat what he’d said when he responded: “I think we need to talk.” Ouch. Needless to say, they broke up. She said a month later. I probably would have thrown him out that moment, but I digress…

We’ve all been there, in some way or another. You ask your boss for a review and you’re told “Actually, we need another skill-set.” You ask your old pal when the wedding is and he stutters: “This is awkward. You didn’t make the cut.” Whatever your scenario, you’ve asked a question only to receive the very last answer you wanted. And yet, don’t these moments tend to simply expedite the inevitable? Sure, if you hadn’t asked, you could have spent another month in that job, or another month in a relationship. But, by asking, you took control of the situation, stood up and asked where you stood.

Once you’re in the know, you can take control of your destiny. Sometimes it seems easier to live with the status quo than to question what’s up. But if your gut instinct tell you to ask, you might want to ask yourself why you’re thinking about it. What if you could be happier? Moving on is only as scary as you make it.

I think the future looks bright.