This past November, I was lucky enough to travel to Toronto to work with the amazing people at the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation and be part of the Run for the Cure 2010 video. Despite my preference for remaining behind the camera, I’m very proud to have been a part of this video, and to speak up and share my story. You can see me featured in the video posted below:

The Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation CIBC Run for the Cure is Canada’s largest single day, volunteer-led fundraising event dedicated to raising funds for breast cancer research, and education and awareness programs.

For more information, please visit the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation.
You can also pre-register for the next run; October 3rd, 2010.

My paternal grandmother, Gladys, was diagnosed with breast cancer the same month my mother discovered she was pregnant with me in 1979. At the time, it was considered unlikely that she would be around long enough to see her first grandchild born. But, armed with a tremendous will to live, she underwent a radical mastectomy, and embarked on a series of clinical trials, most notably for a then little-known drug called Tamoxifen.

Lesley and Grandma Gladys, circa 1985

At the time, I was a baby, and too little to understand the significance of the Tamoxifen trials, and the effect and hope it was having – not just on my grandmother, but on thousands of women. I would later learn that it was this drug, and the subsequent clinical trial, that helped to keep her alive throughout my childhood.

Now, nearly 30 years after breast cancer first rocked my family, it is still a nationwide crisis. In 2009, an estimated 22,700 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. Breast cancer is the most common cancer among Canadian women, with one in nine women expected to develop breast cancer during her lifetime.
While my grandmother was never cancer free, she fought the disease, and lived post-diagnosis for 17 courageous years. When she passed away in 1996, she left us all feeling lucky to have known her, and more determined than ever to keep fighting.

This year, I will be running the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation CIBC Run for the Cure in Glady’s memory.

Help us continue to fight this disease, and to find the course of treatment that will finally eradicate breast cancer. My goal is to raise $1,700 : One hundred dollars for each of the years my grandmother courageously fought the disease. To contribute, click here to visit my donation page.

No donation amount is too small – every little bit helps.

In Canada, she’s well known for her politics. She helped organize the Yvette women’s movement during the 1980 referendum on Quebec sovereignty, which fought to keep Canada united. She was an MP in Montreal for over a decade, and a later a Senator.

She also threw an amazing Passover Seder.

My dad grew up in her house, a regular playmate of two of her four boys. When exam time rolled around, the boys were each sent to their rooms to study, and my father, not wanting to leave, would sprawl out fully clothed in the big bathtub under the skylight to do his work.

While I never had any inclination to hang out in her bathroom, later in life I too would find myself not wanting to leave the Finestone home. Sheila’s sharp wit and intellect extended to her kids and to their kids, and to date, that family is one of the most fun and intelligent groups I’ve ever known.

In my life, Sheila has always been someone to look up to. In a time when housewives were the norm she set out on a courageous uncharted path. I liked her on a personal level too. She was brash, opinionated, classy, funny and fiercely devoted to her family. She loved her grandkids, and like any grandmother, got a kick out of trying to play matchmaker for her eldest grandson.

My family arrived up north two years ago and found her vacuuming her family’s cottage. When my mother asked her why on earth she wasn’t relaxing, Sheila replied with a smile: ‘But, it’s dusty in here, and accomplishing something is so satisfying!’ That truly was the way she lived her life, both in the political arena and personally; constantly taking matters into her own hands and getting things done. And not just getting thing done ‘ striving to make things better.

I will always remember her as a real, and wonderfully textured woman who stood up for what she believed in.

RIP Sheila.

Jimmy Altman and Lauren Silverman share dinner in his Dollard des Ormeaux home and discuss the details of Silverman’s upcoming wedding and chatting about the importance of family. It’s a scene played out by many fathers and daughters, except in this case, Altman is Silverman’s step-father.

Brought together 12 years ago, the two represent members of a growing group — the blended family. Both Altman and Silverman’s mother, Anita Vatch, had two children from previous relationships.

“About one third of all marriages in Canada end in divorce” says Dr. Anne-Marie Ambert in her study, Divorce: Facts, Figures and Consequences.

“About 75 percent and 65 percent, respectively, of divorced men and women remarry.”

And according to a 1987 Statistic Canada report, 96,200 couples had their divorces finalized. During the past 20 years since then, nearly 70 percent have re-married, giving birth to blended families.

Vatch remembers the early days and says Altman tried to make the transition as easy as possible on her kids. “Jimmy has always treated Lauren and Adam as if they were his own children. There is no distinction between home-made kids and blended families in our house.”

Silverman, now 26, wasn’t initially enamoured with Altman’s arrival. Raised for years by their mother, Silverman and her brother suddenly had to share her.

“I’d had my mom all to myself since the divorce,” explains Silverman. “My brother was more open to the relationship at the start because his major concern was that my mother be taken care of. As a teenager, I wasn’t very open to having a step-father. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Jimmy, it was that I didn’t want to share my mother.”

“She definitely gave Jimmy a run for his money,” says Vatch.

That was also the case with Melanie Martin, who gave her new step-father a hard time when he entered her life 20 years ago.

“I remember walking down the street just yelling expletives at him” recalls Martin, also 26, of her first outing with Wayne Belmore.

Martin says she rebelled because she thought Belmore was trying to replace her biological father.

But she says Belmore waited it out and now he and Martin share a close relationship. “He was patient and gave me time to realize he wasn’t trying to take anyone’s place. He was just trying to be my friend.”

Like Silverman, Martin also enjoyed a close and supportive relationship with her step-father. When she announced several years ago that she was gay, Belmore was one of the first people she confided in. “He helped me cope by making it clear that he loved me no matter what,” she says.

Silverman can now look back and laugh at the once tense situation.

“I certainly gave Jimmy a hard time when I was a teenager… Okay, recently too!” she says with a smile. Despite this, she says “he’s never treated me like anything other than his own daughter.”

Altman says the key to making it work is just waiting it out while offering unconditional love. “I let her know I’m on her side and try to find some common ground.” In their case, that common ground was Vatch.

“Jimmy made my mom happy, and even as a teenager, I was able to appreciate that,“ says Silverman. “He definitely fits the bill as a parent because he’s there for me every step of the way.”

True to form, Altman will be there for another important step in his step-daughter’s life, walking her down the aisle this August.

The members of the Marianopolis Master’s swim team are busy this month. In addition to their schedules as professionals, parents and athletes, they are currently canvassing every pool in the Montreal area, trying to find a new home. No one knows where the quarter-century old swim team will end up, but one thing is for certain: June third the doors of Marianopolis college close and the building and its sports complex will be sold. As of press time, there are 25 team members all suited up with no place to swim.

The Marianopolis Master’s swim team was founded in the early eighties. Originally it was housed at the downtown YMCA. When the new Marianopolis complex went up with its beautiful state-of-the-art pool, the swim team moved in. They’ve been there for the last 20 years.

The membership consists of 30-70 year old people; a mix of men and women. Professionals, businesspeople, and a diverse mix of individuals make up a team with a little of everything. Though the nucleus of the members come from Westmount, there are swimmers who reside in Montreal West, Outremont, Downtown and Hampstead.

“The typical member is an average swimmer,” says longtime team treasurer Robert Bishin, “Everyone can come in and swim at their own level.”

However, as a result of the high level facilities and training offered, the team does attract some rather elite members. A great example is Ian Smith, who is one of the top ranked swimmers in the world in his age category. He also swam against visiting
Australian and Japanese National teams as a teenager for his native South Africa.

Currently, the oldest member of the team is Syd Kastner, who, in his early seventies, has been swimming competitively for close to six decades. But don’t mess with Syd; he’s still at the top of his game.

The team is also home to a significant number of triathletes, including a few who have done well in the Hawaiian Ironman.

Marianopolis

Marianopolis is a private CEGEP in Montreal, known as much for its high academic standing as for it’s beautiful sports complex. It has a state-of-the-art pool that is heated and long enough to use to train for Olympic-level events. However, this spring, the college is moving from its present location to the old Convent building on Westmount Avenue. “It’s a great pool,” says Ian Smith. “Unlike other facilities, we’re really not crowded. And we have parking!”

Like Dawson College before it, the new Marianopolis College is putting in an underground, multi-level gymnasium. While it’s a big expenditure, a gym is a very used facility, whereas a swimming pool is not. It’s expensive to build and to maintain, and not that many people use it. So, for the time being, the college has no plans to include one in their new sports complex.

Why Is the Swim Team So Special?

The swim team’s members have a choice of several weekly practices, led by Rob Côté, who has been the primary coach of the Marianopolis Master’s swim team for nearly twenty years. Trained in sports physiology at McGill University, he is also a personal sports trainer at Première Studio in lower Westmount.

The practices at 7:00 a.m. on Tuesday and Friday cater to the early risers on the team, while the Wednesday 7:30 p.m. practice is popular with night owls. Sunday morning at 10:30 a.m. is the busiest practice, with the team taking over the entire pool. This variety allows members to pick and choose when they’ll attend, based on their schedules. Some members come to only one practice, some to all four.

Without a suitable replacement available at press time, the members from Westmount and the surrounding municipalities are worried about losing more than just their workouts. The displacement is partially social as well.

The members have bonded over their common love of athletics – enjoying locker room talk, traveling to sporting events, sharing meals, parties and friendships for twenty five years. The annual Master’s Swim Team Christmas party is hosted yearly in a different member’s home. “It’s a combination of a very good pool and a good group,” muses Smith. “The people are really great!”

Typically, after the morning practices, the swimmers shower and head off to one of several different breakfast destinations, depending on where they’re headed.

The team holds an annual Good Friday brunch, where all the members can sit around the breakfast table and chat without having to rush off to work. This year, they did not take their breakfast for granted, and much of the talk surrounded the displacement and possible solutions to the team’s impending homelessness.

The present Marianopolis will likely be turned into condominiums, but no one knows if the sports complex is going to be ripped down, sold privately or re-done. The latest rumor in the locker rooms is that a local entrepreneur may consider taking over the sports complex to run it as a private enterprise, renting it out to schools in the area and other parties, such as the Master’s swim team. However, at this point, that’s just a fish-tale. As of press time, a new location had still not been found.

“If those store owners had any feelings, they would supply us with Kleenex”, she sighed. “Kleenex!?” Her friend Maggie grunted, “They should offer us grief counselors!”

Okay, so I’m exaggerating a bit. But the truth is, no one – least of all you – is wowed by your un-suntanned and un-waxed body, as you squeeze yourself into the size you hope to be by summer. Even if you can tuck your underwear into the bathing suit without creating too much of a bulge, the fleece socks you’re still wearing are guaranteed to make sure you look ridiculous. Also, you’re a bit faint from sucking in your stomach since the purchasing usually takes place in the grey months before summer, when you are still carrying some winter weight.

Men, there is nothing you can say to your women. My sister’s sweet boyfriend made the mistake of telling her she was beautiful when she emerged sniffling from a changing room at a women’s designer clothing store. She replied by removing a flip-flop from a nearby sales rack and throwing it at his head.

Certainly, shopping for bathing suits can be traumatic at any age. When shopping for bathing suits, the key is to buy the look that suits your body. Trends are great, but you can look beautiful, current and be comfortable at the same time. It is possible!

Here are some helpful hints:

If you have a small chest, try a top with a little push-in built in (just like a bra). String bikini tops are great, as the tiny straps give the illusion of a larger bust. Small patterns also work well.

If you’re short, try wearing high cut bottoms. This gives the illusion of a longer leg.

If you want to hide a bit more skin, try out a tankini. It’s a bikini, but the top looks more like a tank top. A black tankini can hide unwanted excess skin around the tummy.
There is also nothing wrong with a one piece bathing suit. One pieces can offer some more tummy coverage while giving the woman over fifty some classy sexiness.

If you’ve got larger hips, you can try a swim skirt bikini, which gives some extra coverage on the bottom.

If you still want a bit more coverage, try wearing a sarong, or board shorts. Both are light options, and they dry easily if you get them wet.

Remember, the most important part of looking good in a bathing suit is feeling comfortable!

*The Pain of Shopping for Bathing Suits was first published in Westmount Living Magazine, June 2007.

Mark: “Your uncle has a lovely deep voice.”
Dad: “Like Pavarotti”
Nat: “Like Andrea Bocelli.”
Mom: “Like Jennifer Lopez!”