Spam & Fruit Cups

I scan my junkmail folder periodically to make sure nothing has accidentally ended up in there. I’m glad I checked this morning, because I came across a piece of spam that actually made me LOL. I’m not sure why I took the time to read it. Maybe it’s because as a writer, I couldn’t resist something with the title:

Clown Your golden days with Viagra Professional! Fruit Cup.

There was a link (for discount medications) but I can’t help wondering what the rest of the gibberish was for. Does it have something to do with spam-checkers? It got relegated to my junkmail folder anyway. Let me know what you think… and enjoy:

Arm Radar Bomb Solid Bird Jet fighter

Discount medications for you.

Milkshake Car-race Hose Explosive Flower Girl

Bridge Button Gloves Chair Tapestry Chocolates Space Shuttle Ship Bathtub Pyramid

Arm Rocket Bridge Fungus Satellite Sandwich Spiral Sandwich Drum Foot

Diamond Chair Bank Clock Leather jacket Desk Album Balloon Pocket Brain

Jet fighter Magnet Sandwich Gate Snail Insect Rope Library Fork Square

Pants Festival Boss Compact Disc

Copywriting lesson of the day: Write for a nine year old

My friend and colleague CT Moore and I were talking about the most effective way to write a particular press release when he made the following comment:

“Unfortunately, the decline of Western civilization (for which the filed of marketing is partly responsible) has made it necessary to write for a 9 year old.”

This comment really made me laugh, because as a writer and marketer, I’m constantly reminded of just how true it really is.

Sure, there are a variety of exceptionally intelligent people out there. But, when you’re writing for a mass audience, you’re most often writing for the lowest common denominator within that group. And marketing is all about writing for mass – albeit targeted – audiences.

The best marketing campaign in the world can still miss its mark if you’re audience doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. You want to be creative and clever, but don’t ever forget that there’s a fine line between effective and “I don’t get it.”

As a marketing writer, it’s important to remember that it’s not about how smart you can sound – it’s about making sure your message is received and understood by your market.

Canadians for Obama

I may be Canadian, but it would be silly to say that we, as Canadian citizens, are unaffected by the United States.  Like it or not, our economies are inextricably linked.  While I can’t say I dislike the discount on the North Face jacket I got this week because of the floundering American dollar, I will say this:  Whatever benefits there have been as a result of this recent American Administration, have been minute when compared to the legion of negative consequences. Seriously, did anyone learn anything from Vietnam?  Certainly not anyone in the Republican party.  And yet, people still vote for them.  People still believe in them. And it’s not just  Jesus’ henchmen on the right.  Whether or not I like to admit it, I have some Republican supporters in my family. Republicans. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. ;)  But this isn’t about bashing a political party.  It’s simply about this: Whether or not we like to admit it,  our jobs, our economy, our lives, are all tied into the United States of America.  And if they don’t have a good leader, we’re all shit out of luck.  So, despite my French patronage and my tendency to say “Aye”, I too am glued to CNN, awaiting the outcome of an election that may very well change all our lives.

Moving on

After over a year, I’m leaving the safe nest of my agency copywriting job and taking on the challenge of a big new job with a title that makes me smile: Media and Communications Specialist. Although I have something amazing lined up, and I’m delighted by the opportunity, moving on is still scary. Especially since the team I’m leaving is so great.

I find myself asking the inevitable transition question: Will I be as happy there as I am here? When I realize that I don’t know concretely, the nerves kick in.

It’s easy to freak out at the mere thought of change, because change really means “stepping into the unknown”, and as humans, we are fundamentally uneasy about the unfamiliar.

However, there is a difference between good scary and bad scary.

Bad scary is turbulence on a plane, or falling down a well.

Good scary is starting a new relationship, or starting a new job.

I guess there’s also funny scary, like when a drunk homeless guy yelled and whipped a sandwich at my girlfriend Steph’s head the other day, but I’m getting off track (as usual.)

Anyway, my point is that starting a new job is scary. There are so many things to be learned, new co-workers to figure out, a new office to navigate, etc… It’s nerve-wracking, but it opens up a multitude of really positive possibilities as well.

So, this is clearly good-scary stuff. But dealing with it still requires some tricky emotional navigation, especially since I tend to deal with major life changes in one of two ways:

  1. Freak out to the point where I become paralyzed and can’t do anything
  2. Step it up and deal with the situation

While this is the beginning of another chapter in my life, it’s all the same book: I know the relevant life experiences – and people – that I’ve come to appreciate in this job will stay with me long after I’ve left this place. It is with that knowledge that I excitedly walk forward, eager to turn the page and see what comes next.

Wait, what?

A girlfriend of mine was telling me the story of a recent breakup. She was having a bad day, and needing some extra coddling, so she turned to her boyfriend and said: “You love me, right?” Of course, she was asking the question rhetorically. Which is why she had to ask him to repeat what he’d said when he responded: “I think we need to talk.” Ouch. Needless to say, they broke up. She said a month later. I probably would have thrown him out that moment, but I digress…

We’ve all been there, in some way or another. You ask your boss for a review and you’re told “Actually, we need another skill-set.” You ask your old pal when the wedding is and he stutters: “This is awkward. You didn’t make the cut.” Whatever your scenario, you’ve asked a question only to receive the very last answer you wanted. And yet, don’t these moments tend to simply expedite the inevitable? Sure, if you hadn’t asked, you could have spent another month in that job, or another month in a relationship. But, by asking, you took control of the situation, stood up and asked where you stood.

Once you’re in the know, you can take control of your destiny. Sometimes it seems easier to live with the status quo than to question what’s up. But if your gut instinct tell you to ask, you might want to ask yourself why you’re thinking about it. What if you could be happier? Moving on is only as scary as you make it.

I think the future looks bright.